Today

I did ok. Not great, but not horrendous. I resisted the soda pop at work and I limited myself to one rice crispy treat at work and no other treats, even though there were TONS available.

At home I had two small brownies (at different times) and some low fat ice cream. Like I said, not great. But I did limit myself even though I really, really wanted more.

I drank a lot of water. Overall, blah.... but it is an improvement over what I've been doing.

I am Determined!!!

I have really got to buckle down! No more excuses! My husband has gone back to Nevada, I'm all done with play practices and it's time to lose some weight!

GOAL TIME!!! My goal is to avoid all beverages but water, to not eat after 9pm and to not have more than one helping of desserts or goodies! My work-out goal is to get in two work-outs of some sort a week.

I'm working 5 days and 4 nights a week for the next couple of weeks, so we'll see how it goes, but baby steps, right?

I SUCK!

I have the hugest headache. I'm sure it's because I'm just not being healthy :( I keep thinking in my head ok... I'm gonna do it. no more junk, I'm gonna start working out and then I just don't. I love to bake and I bake something fattening. I tell myself I'm too tired to work out or they have yummy treats at work that I can't resist. I'm sad because I'm putting on so much weight and yet I'm not doing anything about it.

I think so much of it is feeling soooo stressed out and knowing when I'm stressed I don't lose weight. But even being stressed, if I was eating right and exercising, I'd at least be maintaining instead of gaining, so I know it's totally my fault. I just can't seem to find the desire or the will power. I know it's part of depression, but being aware you'd think I could/would do something about it!

I feel like when I'm depressed then food and not exercising makes me happy. So why take away the things that are making me happy? And YES I know that is so totally wrong and messed up in my head, because I'm really not happy because I'm getting fatter. I think my tummy is at it's biggest ever right now (besides when I was pregnant...LOL).

What can I do to gain motivation?

Come on Over...

Visit The American Homemaker


I really love getting to know all you fabulous women in blogland! Come and visit the brand new American Homemaker forums... let's get chatting! There is a forum section for Beauty, Health & Wellness. I'd love to have some of my buddies from this blog join. It's great to visit each other's blogs, but it's also great to get to know each other a little better on a more personal level. Hope to see you there!

Thanks

Thanks for the encouraging comments yesterday. My hubby has the attitude that he should always be honest and who cares who's hurt. If your feelings are hurt it means you're weak. Now for a woman who has always struggled with depression and self esteem problems, it's hard for me to deal with this. I don't find it motivating to have someone tell me I'm gonna get fatter if I eat something unhealthy or that I look like I need to exercise. Believe me, I've learned to not ask if something makes me look fat. I know these things already. I know I'm fat. I know I don't always eat healthy and I know I'm a stress eater. I don't like hearing it from someone I love. Most of you know I've only been remarried for a little over a year. I have put on weight since then. I'm very stressed out and depressed.

I KNOW that I only lose weight when I'm happy. When I have someone putting me down, no matter how well-meaning that put down is supposed to be, I just don't lose weight. I get sad. I'm unmotivated. I cry and eat instead of working out. He knows that it hurts me, and he sees me cry when he says hurtful things, but he's of the attitude that if you don't like it then leave. Anyways... thanks to all my friends here. I love you guys!

Slacker

I haven't posted here for a while. What a slacker I am.

I hadn't seen my hubby in over two months and he came into town on Sunday night. I've been a little (ok, a lot) sad because I know I've put on a bit on my waist since the last time I've seen him. Normal husbands wouldn't care or wouldn't notice, but I knew mine would be disappointed in me.

Monday morning when I was getting dressed he looked at me and said, "You should exercise with me." Well... there went my self esteem for the day. After I got dressed I was like, do I look like crap? He said, "I never said you look like crap, just that you need to exercise so your clothes won't be too small." Gotta love it.

My Weight Struggle Story

Over at The American Homemaker I'm participating in the Ultimate Blog Party so I figured why not here too?

My name is Angie and I'm fat! (hi, angie) I'm been a bit of a slacker at eating healthy and exercising the last few months and what better motivation than knowing LOTS of people will be on my blog this week? I guess I better get crackin' LOL

So a little about me and my weight-loss saga... I spent years (Since I was 18 and had my first baby) hating how I looked, I tried eating healthy, killing myself with insane exersise, working with my doctor and nothing worked. I was severely depressed and my body would just not lose weight...


And then after my divorce in July 2007 I went from a size 16-18 to a size 10!!! I was happy, I was confidant, I was avoiding all sweets and drinking only water. I was doing moderate exercise. I felt great!!!

When I was remarried in January of '08 I got the birth control shot and a heck of a lot of stress added to my life! My weight/inches slowly came back. Here I am a year later...


Ok... I don't always have a cookie in my mouth, but I haven't taken a full body picture of myself since November. I'm a tight size 12 and trying to find time in an EXTREMELY hectic schedule to work out and trying to eat healthy while still keeping up with my love for baking, cooking and creating new recipes. Some weeks I do great and some I'm happy if I survived :)

Welcome to The American Homemaker's Healthy Me!

And don't forget to stop over at Meaningful Days and say hello to Chrissy who is also a contributor here.