Friday, March 27, 2009


Thanks for the encouraging comments yesterday. My hubby has the attitude that he should always be honest and who cares who's hurt. If your feelings are hurt it means you're weak. Now for a woman who has always struggled with depression and self esteem problems, it's hard for me to deal with this. I don't find it motivating to have someone tell me I'm gonna get fatter if I eat something unhealthy or that I look like I need to exercise. Believe me, I've learned to not ask if something makes me look fat. I know these things already. I know I'm fat. I know I don't always eat healthy and I know I'm a stress eater. I don't like hearing it from someone I love. Most of you know I've only been remarried for a little over a year. I have put on weight since then. I'm very stressed out and depressed.

I KNOW that I only lose weight when I'm happy. When I have someone putting me down, no matter how well-meaning that put down is supposed to be, I just don't lose weight. I get sad. I'm unmotivated. I cry and eat instead of working out. He knows that it hurts me, and he sees me cry when he says hurtful things, but he's of the attitude that if you don't like it then leave. Anyways... thanks to all my friends here. I love you guys!

Thursday, March 26, 2009


I haven't posted here for a while. What a slacker I am.

I hadn't seen my hubby in over two months and he came into town on Sunday night. I've been a little (ok, a lot) sad because I know I've put on a bit on my waist since the last time I've seen him. Normal husbands wouldn't care or wouldn't notice, but I knew mine would be disappointed in me.

Monday morning when I was getting dressed he looked at me and said, "You should exercise with me." Well... there went my self esteem for the day. After I got dressed I was like, do I look like crap? He said, "I never said you look like crap, just that you need to exercise so your clothes won't be too small." Gotta love it.