Thanks

Thanks for the encouraging comments yesterday. My hubby has the attitude that he should always be honest and who cares who's hurt. If your feelings are hurt it means you're weak. Now for a woman who has always struggled with depression and self esteem problems, it's hard for me to deal with this. I don't find it motivating to have someone tell me I'm gonna get fatter if I eat something unhealthy or that I look like I need to exercise. Believe me, I've learned to not ask if something makes me look fat. I know these things already. I know I'm fat. I know I don't always eat healthy and I know I'm a stress eater. I don't like hearing it from someone I love. Most of you know I've only been remarried for a little over a year. I have put on weight since then. I'm very stressed out and depressed.

I KNOW that I only lose weight when I'm happy. When I have someone putting me down, no matter how well-meaning that put down is supposed to be, I just don't lose weight. I get sad. I'm unmotivated. I cry and eat instead of working out. He knows that it hurts me, and he sees me cry when he says hurtful things, but he's of the attitude that if you don't like it then leave. Anyways... thanks to all my friends here. I love you guys!

Slacker

I haven't posted here for a while. What a slacker I am.

I hadn't seen my hubby in over two months and he came into town on Sunday night. I've been a little (ok, a lot) sad because I know I've put on a bit on my waist since the last time I've seen him. Normal husbands wouldn't care or wouldn't notice, but I knew mine would be disappointed in me.

Monday morning when I was getting dressed he looked at me and said, "You should exercise with me." Well... there went my self esteem for the day. After I got dressed I was like, do I look like crap? He said, "I never said you look like crap, just that you need to exercise so your clothes won't be too small." Gotta love it.

My Weight Struggle Story

Over at The American Homemaker I'm participating in the Ultimate Blog Party so I figured why not here too?

My name is Angie and I'm fat! (hi, angie) I'm been a bit of a slacker at eating healthy and exercising the last few months and what better motivation than knowing LOTS of people will be on my blog this week? I guess I better get crackin' LOL

So a little about me and my weight-loss saga... I spent years (Since I was 18 and had my first baby) hating how I looked, I tried eating healthy, killing myself with insane exersise, working with my doctor and nothing worked. I was severely depressed and my body would just not lose weight...


And then after my divorce in July 2007 I went from a size 16-18 to a size 10!!! I was happy, I was confidant, I was avoiding all sweets and drinking only water. I was doing moderate exercise. I felt great!!!

When I was remarried in January of '08 I got the birth control shot and a heck of a lot of stress added to my life! My weight/inches slowly came back. Here I am a year later...


Ok... I don't always have a cookie in my mouth, but I haven't taken a full body picture of myself since November. I'm a tight size 12 and trying to find time in an EXTREMELY hectic schedule to work out and trying to eat healthy while still keeping up with my love for baking, cooking and creating new recipes. Some weeks I do great and some I'm happy if I survived :)

Welcome to The American Homemaker's Healthy Me!

And don't forget to stop over at Meaningful Days and say hello to Chrissy who is also a contributor here.

How did I do it?

I'm not sure how I ever survived as a cheerleader in high school. I used to have a few moves :)

I love my dance work-out dvd, but I am so uncoordinated! At least I'm moving and having fun, right?

1 AM Workout :)

It's so funny Chrissy posted about stress eating this week. I've been super busy and hadn't even checked this blog since I last posted. I had a stressful night tonight, fighting with my hubby. My first reaction was too eat. Never mind it was after midnight, I really started craving a bowl of Captain Crunch (cereal is one of my biggest comfort foods).

But instead I kicked butt! I did a 20 minute work-out with my music cranked up! So here it is almost 1 in the morning and I just got done exercising. I feel great :)

I downloaded some of my favorite music earlier and listening to it is great. Another thing I think is funny Chrissy posted about is her fasting. I've been on a music fast of sorts. I haven't turned on the radio in my car or house for about three weeks. I've enjoyed the silence as I drive to and from work each day. It's a 20-30 minute drive each way and I do it 1-2 times a day. So I've had a lot of quiet alone time. It's fabulous. But tonight I felt like I needed a stress reliever.

I'll probably still leave the radio off in the car, but tonight I've been rockin' out to the White Stripes, the Flobots, Avril Lavigne, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Swift, the Plain White T's and Loggins and Messina... LOL Yes... I have a very random taste in music! Depending on my mood you'll hear everything at my house from Metallica to Broadway to Country to Alternative! My kids have learned to have the same random tastes. They'll have their mp3 players on and be singing along to Bon Jovi or Guns n Roses... he he he

anyways... I'm supposing I should meander my way to bed... I still haven't been sleeping super well. Too much going on, I guess.

Update from Chrissy

Angie...........I understand the whole stress factor. I really need to invest more in prayer, reading, or listening to music to deal with stress. This last few months have seemed to go no where in the healthy plan I was so pumped up about.

To the rest of you gals

I have been fasting the last few days for spiritual reasons. My church called a March Impact fast. Each week is different things.

This week..... fast 3 days no food or beverages. I did drink due to some medication I take.

Next week is a media fast. AHHHH!

Third, is the Daniel Fast- no sugar, sweets, bread, meat

Fourth, is I forgot. :0)

I know that fasting is not a very popular thing in some peoples lives. I choose to do it I see a lot of spiritual and personal growth when I do it. Please, do not share your thoughts if they are negative. I know the dangers of it and all but I just trust mightily in God's power. I do not do this for weight loss reasons. I actually never really lose any. Thanks to that Thyroid. :)

Anyway, without shoving food in my mouth for the last few days I really can see how much I depend on food. When my mom called me Tuesday and shared with me she was diagnosed with Heart Disease , as funny as it sounds I cried and wanted to just stop the fasting and eat. Right then a light bulb went off. I realized how much I stress/emotionally eat. I have always figured it but until that moment really it didn't sink in. So, all day today I have noticed how much I wanted to eat when I was frustrated with the kids, or tired and bored.

Do you have any tips to share on overcoming emotional stress eating? How do you deal with it?
Chrissy

Uggghhhh

Here are the measurements... *sniff, sniff*

waist: 37 1/2"
hips: 43 1/2"
r arm: 14"
l arm: 14 1/2"
r thigh: 25"
l thigh: 24 3/4"

I'm not even going to post these on my sidebar. It's too depressing. I've put on a lot in the last month. Obviously the play I'm directing was too much to take on. The stress is showing in my inches gained. Well...

I did a 30 minute dance work-out tonight. My food today was so-so. I did pretty good until this evening... then I blew it with the cheese sauce and chocolate bunny.

2 muffins
1 small slice oatmeal bread
granola bar
turkey & swiss on whole wheat
turkey chili w/ lowfat sour cream & cheese
a few bites of a dark chocolate bunny
baked french fries w/cheese sauce, cheese & ketchup
lots and lots and lots of water

Did I mention lots of water? I think I peed every half an hour all day!