I SUCK!

I have the hugest headache. I'm sure it's because I'm just not being healthy :( I keep thinking in my head ok... I'm gonna do it. no more junk, I'm gonna start working out and then I just don't. I love to bake and I bake something fattening. I tell myself I'm too tired to work out or they have yummy treats at work that I can't resist. I'm sad because I'm putting on so much weight and yet I'm not doing anything about it.

I think so much of it is feeling soooo stressed out and knowing when I'm stressed I don't lose weight. But even being stressed, if I was eating right and exercising, I'd at least be maintaining instead of gaining, so I know it's totally my fault. I just can't seem to find the desire or the will power. I know it's part of depression, but being aware you'd think I could/would do something about it!

I feel like when I'm depressed then food and not exercising makes me happy. So why take away the things that are making me happy? And YES I know that is so totally wrong and messed up in my head, because I'm really not happy because I'm getting fatter. I think my tummy is at it's biggest ever right now (besides when I was pregnant...LOL).

What can I do to gain motivation?